I met some of my best friends last night. We played bowling, had dinner, and continued with some beers and talks. By talks, obviously I address to the discussion about what we did together in certain period of time – in the past. Interestingly, a friend of mine quoted such nice words: “the past is a good place to visit, but not a place to stay …”. Anyhow, almost every time we met old friends or besties – we probably would visit the past ‘to spice up’ the meeting.
Things in the past could bring both bad and good feelings. The bad feelings might come from memories of mistakes we did, ‘wrong decisions’, unexpected events, or simply a thought that we didn’t really optimized the time we had. For those who believe, they might see that what happened in the past constructed who we are now. I would add with: our reactions (and the experiences after we reacted) to what happened in the past – beyond the events themselves – possibly strongly influence who we are in the present (and possibly in the future).
In another side, good feelings could come when you have memories of leisure, achievements, making ‘right decisions’, or receiving positive surprises. When discussing about good things from the past, it brings convenient and comfortable situations. In which, it could strengthen friendship, enlarge networks, also bring energy to try and to experience more things in life.
Having good feelings because of the past definitely sounds enjoyable. The question is, would it be possible for us to turn the (potential of) bad feelings into good ones – when we visit the past? Well, it could be – but might not be so easy.
Turning the (potential of) bad feelings into good ones would deal with how we take perspectives over the events happened in the past, how we control our emotions, the ability to learn, and importantly the ability to forgive yourself because of what already happened. Many of us couldn’t really forgive ourselves, which not only fail the potential of turning those bad feelings into good ones – but also limit our future potential.
“No, not again!” – was the phrase came up to my mind whenever bad feelings surrounded me because of the past. By thinking that way, I could limit the pressure and try to start turning the feelings – by taking learning points from what happened. Learning experiences bring us to joy, and learning from bad things happened in the past is a necessity – as those usually would stay in our mind stronger and longer time (and possibly change who are are).
I personally try to say to myself: “No, not again!” as I indeed didn’t want those bad things happened, but try to be grateful because those had happened – and learn from them.
What about you? How do you turn bad feelings from the past into the good ones?